Actual phone call:

Caller: Do I get the certificate after class?

Bust-A-Gut: No.

Caller: But I took the class years ago and they gave it to me that same day.

Bust-A-Gut: That was years ago. Not anymore. Nobody does that now. It's the law.

Caller: What if I give you an extra $5?

Bust-A-Gut: No. But if you need it right away, you can pay an extra $25 and I'll have it overnighted to your house. You can also pay for the class and the overnight certificate online (Save $10 if you pre-pay online at www.comedydefensivedriving.com)